I was planning to start my baby on solids at four months. It this a good idea?

Written for BabyCenter Philippines Last reviewed: November 2010

The BabyCenter Philippines Editorial Team answers:

It's best to wait until your baby is six months old to introduce him to solid food. 

By six months, your baby should have doubled his birth weight. You'll probably notice that he's becoming more active all the time. After six months, breastmilk or formula milk won't provide your growing, active baby with enough nutrients, so he'll start to need other food. 

Waiting until six months to introduce your baby to solid food protects his health. It reduces the chance that he will develop allergies or pick up an infection from food, because at six months his immune system is stronger. 

It's especially important not to give your baby food before six months if you have a family history of allergies or celiac disease. Celiac disease is triggered by the glutenin grains. Introducing solids earlier than six months also increases the chances of diarrhea. 

If you feel your baby needs to start solids before six months, talk to your pediatrician first. This is particularly important if your baby was born prematurely. 

Before you try your baby with solid food, look out for the signs that he really is ready to be weaned. 

Does he still seem hungry after a good milk feed, even after you've tried increasing milk feeds? Can he sit up when supported? Does he try to pick up food and put it in his mouth? 

The Department of Health says that babies should be exclusively breastfed for their first six months. This means no solid food or water before, at the earliest, before the end of their fifth month (23 weeks). 

Young babies will push food out of their mouths. This is called the tongue thrust reflex. Your baby may lose the tongue thrust reflex at about four months, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he is ready for solids. Your baby will find it much easier to keep food in his mouth, and chew it, from the age of six months. 

If you do decide to wean your baby onto solids before six months, there are some foods that you should not give him. These are: 

• gluten, which is found in grains and cereals
• dairy products
• fish and shellfish
• citrus fruits
• eggs

Managing Your Energy after Birth

Perhaps you’re still euphoric from seeing your baby for the first time. Or maybe you’re just plain dead beat after that marathon labor. Either way, take heed: there’s more fatigue to come in the next few days after birth. Rest assured, though, that it is perfectly normal. But if it gives you any trouble, these tips may help you in battling exhaustion:

• Join your baby for a nap. Sleep deprivation is one of the major causes of fatigue in women who had just given birth. Forget housework for a while and get your much-needed shut-eye. This will give you plenty of energy later on to face more difficult tasks.

• Enlist your spouse’s help in chores. Giving birth to a baby is no easy feat. It will take you a few weeks or even month to get back to normal routine, so make you get all the help that you need from family and friends.

• Reorganize routine. Go to bed early to make up for nighttime waking.

You may feel lethargic a few days after you’ve given birth, but this is only temporary. Consult a doctor if fatigue goes on for months.

Reasons to Hold Your Toddler

When your toddler was still a baby, you showered him with plenty of kisses and hugs. It shouldn’t be any different now that he’s reached toddler age. In fact, there’s more reason to hold him now than ever. Here’s why:

• He needs reassurance that everything’s alright.  The world is a big scary place for a toddler. He’s quickly discovering things and he needs to know that it’s alright to explore and make mistakes once in a while.

• He needs an explanation of the things happening around him. As your toddler explores his world, he encounters many unfamiliar things. It’s part of development to be naturally curious about the things around him. And sometimes, he feels the need to be held while he learns new things from you.

• Discipline is more effective if done in a loving way. There may be times when your child does things that wind you up. Instead of shouting at him, hold him close as you explain why his actions were wrong.

Toddlers grow quickly and much sooner than you think. Make the most out of moments when your toddler asks to be held.

http://blog.momcenter.com.ph/

Managing Anger between Parents and Children

Anger is a secondary emotion that comes as a response to another emotion. When directed at children, the results can be damaging. Parents often unleash their anger through a lot of yelling. But there are better ways of managing anger:

• Use self talk. It may be hard at the beginning, but once parents step away from heated arguments with children, it becomes very effective. Using an ‘I’ statement to communicate your feelings will help your children understand what’s making you angry. Likewise, if your child is one angry, self talk can help him analyze his feelings and express them better.

• If your child is the one angry, ensure first that he and everyone else are out of physical harm. Once he’s calmed down, talk to him without reprimanding. Listen to the reason why he’s had the meltdown and reassure him that everything is all right.

• Some children’s actions call for further disciplining from parents. Be firm about it. But never use your anger to create punishments.

Anger is a natural human emotion. Children, parents and everyone else experience it occasionally. Analyze what brings out your anger before doing anything harsh.

http://blog.momcenter.com.ph/

After Birth Tips on Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a natural process, but some mothers don’t get the hang of it immediately after birth. Producing milk requires mind-body sync, but due to some factors, breastfeeding becomes difficult for some women. Here are some tips that you can use to make breastfeeding after birth a comfortable and wonderful experience:

• Drink plenty of fluids. Some mothers have trouble with milk letdown because they are not drinking enough water or fruit juices. Always drink a glass of water before and after nursing.

• Get plenty of rest. Child birth is a tiring process, and it may take you weeks to recover. Take a nap when your baby is sleeping to rejuvenate yourself. This will help you focus more on attending to and nursing your baby.

• Soothe sore nipples. Cracked and sore nipples are common if the baby’s not latched on properly. Find a comfortable position for you and your child when nursing. Alternate feedings on both breasts. Use a soothing nipple cream as needed.

If you’re having problems breastfeeding exclusively after birth, it may result to your baby’s dehydration. There are available over-the-counter supplements for breastfeeding mothers to help you with milk production.

http://blog.momcenter.com.ph/2010/12/after-birth-tips-on-breastfeeding/

Tips on Keeping Your Baby Healthy

Having a healthy baby means that you must first have a healthy pregnancy. Once your baby is out of womb, you need to provide him good nourishment, stimulation and rest. Here are some of the things you can do to keep your little angel in the pink:

• Feed him right. Babies 0-6 months should be fed with milk only. If you’re breastfeeding, it’s best that you continue until your child’s second birthday. On the sixth month, you may begin introducing semi-solid foods. Do it gradually so as not to overwhelm his little tummy.

• Get him vaccinated. Every month or so, your baby should get his shots from the doctor. This prevents your child from contracting sickness or diseases that could put him in danger. Ask your doctor for vaccination schedule ahead of time.

• Keep your baby’s surroundings clean. A dirty environment is a breeding ground for harmful bacteria and viruses.

Don’t let them get near your child by making sure toys, clothes and everything else are washed or disinfected properly.

There’s nothing more a parent could wish for than to have a healthy baby. If your child’s healthy, everybody’s happy.

http://blog.momcenter.com.ph/2010/11/tips-on-keeping-your-baby-healthy/

7 Ways to Make Money This Holiday Season by Annie Mueller

1. Sell Stuff Online

Online sites that sell used merchandise (Craigslist, Kijiji …) make it easy to build up a little extra holiday spending money by selling what you already have; you can also search for resale stores in your area that will buy your stuff or sell it for you on consignment. Clean out your closets, your attic, your basement and the trunk of your car. Quit hanging on to those college textbooks, clothes that don't fit or furniture that you really don't like. You'll end up with a cleaner place (room for more gifts!) and a nice-sized wad of cash.

The key to eBay success is to sell stuff that people can't get just anywhere. Think antique, collectible, unique, one-of-a-kind, regional, handmade, specialty: anything that fits into one of those categories has a good chance of finding buyers on eBay. Conversely, you won't have much luck trying to sell online what anyone can walk down the street and buy at the supermarket or mall. So, if you have collectibles or access to some great regional items, buy up enough to sell and get started.

[See How to Get Cash Back on Every Purchase]

2. Get a Seasonal Job

UPS isn't the only place that needs thousands of extra employees during the holiday rush. Browse the mall - more shoppers mean that stores need more people stocking shelves and running cash registers. Any store or supplier of holiday products (Christmas trees, greenery, ornaments, popular gifts) or point in the supply chain (from ordering to wrapping and packaging to delivering) might be in need of extra holiday help.

3. Use Your Freelance Skills

Professionals with skills, turn your attention to holiday opportunities. Marketers, interior designers, graphic designers, writers and photographers: consider designing holiday e-cards, business flyers, holiday events and promotions, helping to write holiday letters, taking holiday portraits, arranging store displays and more. Charge fair rates and you could find yourself busy beyond the holiday season.

For example, if you can make a great pecan pie or know the secret to moist muffins, it's time to turn that baking expertise into cash. Figure out the cost of supplies and then determine out a cost for your labor. Set prices on what you're willing to make and sell, draw up a price list, and email it out to family and friends. Many people will jump at the chance to get some help and still offer homemade goodies.

4. Do the Dirty Work

The worst part of hosting a holiday party definitely comes after the guests have gone home and the inevitable mess remains. Pick up some gigs cleaning; you can offer your services for business holiday parties and events, as well as to the quintessential harried homemaker. Think beyond the post-party cleaning, too. You can make money helping prepare for holiday events, doing regular weekly cleaning, doing laundry and household chores and running errands for people who are willing to part with a little cash in order to save a little time.

Also, hanging holiday lights, hauling Christmas trees, putting up decorations and carrying in all those packages people are getting in the mail can bring in some extra dough. There are plenty of ways an able-bodied person can be helpful for others. Students often need to relocate during the holiday time between semesters, so if you have a truck and muscles, you can pick up even more cash.

[See Tips to Beat the Post-Holiday Debt Blues]

5. Take Care of Kids

Daycares need holidays too, and parents of school-age children often find themselves scrambling to care for and entertain their kids on holiday break. Make it known in your social circle that you're available for child care. Offer your services to parents who need a little time for holiday shopping, holiday parties or just a quiet afternoon or night out away from the kids.

6. Flaunt Your Talent

Holiday gigs can be very lucrative events if you've got talents in the world of music. Parties need bands, carols need singers, and all sorts of corporate and church events need good musicians. If you have friends with similar talents, you might be able to put together a group, practice a few holiday songs and make some cash providing background music for all sorts of events during the season.

7. Teach What You Know

Hold a class in your kitchen on quick holiday appetizers and easy party food. Teach a workshop at a local crafts shop on how to make holiday wreaths or homemade gifts. Run a seminar on candid photography, coach musical students prepping for a holiday recital or drama teams putting together performances. The knowledge you share doesn't have to be holiday-themed, either; people with a little extra time off work might enjoy a chance to brush-up on hobbies and interests that normally have to take a sideline.

The Bottom Line

Making a little extra cash is less about setting up your hot dog stand on a street corner and more about getting creative with the stuff and skills you have and what you already enjoy doing, teaching or sharing with others. You could ring in the New Year a little lighter on the holiday calories and a good deal heavier on the holiday cash.

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How to Save One-Third of Your Income

ne of the main arguments in my book, Generation Earn, is that we need to drastically increase the amount of money we're saving. On average, we should save about one-third of our income in our twenties, thirties, and forties for retirement, emergency funds, and big goals such as purchasing a home. I've gotten a lot of questions about that--how is it even possible? What did you give up to do that? Are you doing that right now? I wanted to share some of the ways I saved that much and explain why I think it's necessary.

[In Pictures: 12 Money Mistakes Almost Everyone Makes]

First, a confession: I am not currently saving one-third of my income. That's because I've experienced two major financial shocks in the last year, having a baby and buying a house. Between mortgage payments and daycare expenses, I've fallen way behind, but I plan to return to my previous saving levels as soon as those costs become more manageable.

For most of my twenties, though, I was saving one-third of my income. About twenty percent went directly into my retirement accounts, so I never even saw the money. I put an additional 15 percent into after-tax savings accounts, which was mostly invested in money market funds.

Here are some of my strategies that made it possible:

Live like a college student long after graduation: My husband and I continued living in a small apartment with our old futon as a sofa for five years after graduation. At first, we didn't use cable and stuck with an old tube television. For awhile, we even figured out a way to make room for our baby in that small space.

Become a frugal chef. I didn't know much about cooking before I got married, but I quickly learned how to make vegetable-focused meals from the Food Network. Using small amounts of meat saved us money, as did limiting our restaurant meals.

Stick with one car. We've always chosen to live near public transportation so we can limit ourselves to one car, which saves us thousands of dollars a year. Between gas, upkeep, and insurance, cars are expensive, so sticking to one can make a big difference. (These first three items--housing, food, and transportation--take up about two-thirds of most people's incomes, so focusing on that pricey trifecta can have a big impact.)

[For more money-saving tips, visit the U.S. News Alpha Consumer blog.]

Use old cell phones. We never joined the smartphone craze, so while we might not look as cool with our bulky old-style phones, we're saving a lot by avoiding pricey data plans and high-tech gadgets.

Splurge on small but meaningful indulgences. When I bought my husband a LCD television for his birthday one year (to replace the old tube set we had), I knew it was a huge splurge, and certainly not a necessary one. But given all of our other sacrifices, I figured it was worth it, and given how much he likes it, I think it was. We also buy high-quality beer to drink at home. Even though a $9 six-pack is no deal, it's much cheaper than drinking at a bar.

Everyone's strategies will be different, since they're based on your own preferences. You might bring a bagged lunch every day but go on an international vacation every year, or indulge in restaurant meals while collecting coupons for the grocery store. As long as you're cutting back on the areas that aren't that important to you, you won't feel like you're making an impossible sacrifice.

Almost everyone can save a significant chunk of income, regardless of income level or where you live. You just have to live a lifestyle that's a lot more frugal than the one you could actually afford. Sure, you might occasionally wish you had a fancier television, or furniture, but purchasing those items give such short-term bursts of pleasure that the cost is hardly worth it. Instead, invest in your relationships, hobbies, and career, all of which can outlast even the most expensive television.

What are your savings techniques? How much of your income do you try to save?

Kimberly Palmer is the author of the new book Generation Earn: The Young Professional's Guide to Spending, Investing, and Giving Back.

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/How-to-Save-OneThird-of-Your-usnews-2368738838.html

How To Raise Polite Kids

Dr. Jodi Stoner and Lori Weiner, authors of the new book, Good Manners are Contagious, are on a mission to change how kids interact with the rest of the world. Their book offers tangible strategies for raising responsible, resilient and respectful children.

Here, Stoner, a clinical psychologist, and Weiner, a highly successful career coach, offer tips on common scenarios to raise a well-rounded, well-grounded and well-mannered child.

Situation: Your daughter doesn't like something (food, drink, etc.) offered to her at a guest's house. she begins to blatantly tell her guest so.
Solution: Good manners training begins long before your daughter's first experience in someone else's home, whether it is for a play-date or for dinner.  The teaching set should be for your child to say "No thank you" when she is offered any type of food or drink she does not want. If she is disrespectful at someone else's home, future outings should be curtailed until she masters correct social behavior.

Situation: Your very shy son refuses to play with your friend's children or interact at all.
Solution: Knowing your son is shy, speak with your friend about an activity that both children would enjoy, i.e legos.  Encourage paired  play with words that praise the desired behavior.  Social skills take time to build, and in time your son will feel more secure and confident to be able to engage in pro-social behaviors on his own.

Situation: Your son is talking over the other children in an after school class.
Solution: Talk with your son about any behavior problems that are happening at school and, with positive dialogue, explain why we let other people take turns in speaking.  Support the teacher in her role to stop your child from interrupting by praising him when he doesn't interrupt.  Hopefully, the teacher will give him an opportunity to speak when he raises his hand.

Teach your child what constitutes rightful interruptions. This should only be in critical situations such as emergencies (someone is hurt) or urgencies (bathroom issues or someone is at the door).

Situation: An older child is being aggressive/verbally bullying your daughter at the playground.
Solution: Bullying behavior is never tolerated. Teach your child to ignore the bullying. If that doesn't work, report the incident to the school. Most schools have a"no bullying policy" and are proactive in stopping it.  If this is occurring at the community playground, and that child's parent is not there,  speak to the child yourself and tell him what he is doing is dispresectful and hurtful.  Maybe you can offer another alternative.  If that doesn't work speak to the child's parents. Teach your child that bullying is never acceptable and that it is not tolerated.

 http://www.hybridmom.com/articles/live/parenting/how-raise-polite-kids

8 Simple Ways to De-Stress

I met my friends last night for a cup of coffee amidst the bright lights and noisy traffic of Makati. When we asked how each one had been doing, everyone shrieked, "I'm soooo stressed!" Each one seemed very eager to tell the others how busy their schedules were.

One had an awful week at work with bosses dishing out tough deadlines. The other lost their household help and was drowning in laundry. Another friend was nearly in tears sharing her child's dismal report card while relaying how their only car broke down. Moms have a lot of responsibilities and they are stressed enough managing everything on a good day. The stress shoots up during the bad days when Murphy's Law seems to rule. How can moms relieve their stress in the comforts of their own homes?

1. Old Favorite: Doing a DVD marathon. New Favorite: Curling under the covers with a magazine
Reading is something we don't do often because it takes time to finish a book and time is a luxury most moms don't have. Try reading a magazine instead. There are also a lot of good online sites if you happen to have a handy laptop at home. Enrich your mind with short clips from www.ted.com or catch up with the latest news through online newspapers. Then when you're done, bury your head in the soft pillow and enter the world of pleasant dreams. 
2. Old Favorite: Eating yummy desserts. New Favorite: Cooking up a storm
Stacking up on empty calories only brings another reason to be stressed about - becoming fat! Instead, cook tasty but nutritious meals for your family. A lot of moms swear that mindlessly chopping carrots and stirring the sauce until it thickens are actually quite relaxing. For moms who beg to disagree, they can find comfort in knowing that there are other ways to relax that don’t involve entering a kitchen.
3. Old Favorite: Taking a bubble bath. New Favorite: Taking a shower
Remember when we were kids and we always wanted to go out and play under the rain? Taking a shower is a great alternative!  It eases the pressures from your body. Close your eyes and picture the water washing your worries away, water flowing down your back, drumming out the aches and pains.  Make it even better with a sweet-smelling soap or shampoo so the fragrance adds soothing aromatherapy to help you relax even more. 
4. Old Favorite: Watching the rain with a cup of coffee. New Favorite: Sipping orange juice while writing in your gratitude journal
Being aware of the many blessings that have come to our lives is a fantastic technique in banishing our self-pity and fears. Write down all the happy moments that you had and the people who have touched your life (while sipping your daily dose of vitamin C). Don't forget to include all the good things you have done for others. Helping other people always makes us feel good because we are able to share our worth and blessings. Slowly read what you have written and you'll realize your stress gradually disappearing.
5. Old Favorite: Exercising the blues away. New Favorite: Dancing the blues away
No one in the house? It's the perfect time then to turn up your stereo's volume just like you did back in high school. Then do the crazy moves you've always been wanting to do but were too embarrassed to do. Swing those arms, jump like crazy and wiggle those hips like there is no tomorrow. The feeling of freedom is exhilarating!

6. Old Favorite: Burning the phone lines with girl pals. New Favorite: Connect with friends through Facebook, Twitter and Email
A true friend knows how to listen, empathize or help analyze a problem. They share our joys and excitement and provide support during challenging times. But most of our friends are also moms who are busy or half a world away. We are blessed be living in a time where technology serves as bridges, connecting us with our friends no matter where they are. 

7. Old Favorite: Getting a massage. New Favorite: Getting a massage
A back or foot massage is heaven and will always remain a favorite way to banish stress. It's very relaxing and soothing to feel the swishing motion that takes away the stubborn knots of your muscles.  You will surely feel like a pampered princess afterward. There are many affordable spas offering home-service so you can get your massage without the inconvenience of battling traffic. After your indulgent massage, you can sleep your stress away.  
8. Old Favorite: Meditating. New Favorite: Praying
I've never been a fan of yoga (sorry, my dear yoga-loving pals) and 7-day silent retreats, but praying has always been a source of comfort. It brings an inner peace that nothing else can bring. Prayer increases your faith and uplifts your spirit; it strengthens your belief that no matter what problem you face, it will all be alright at the end. 

The old tried and tested favorites will always be effective but there are other simple things you can consider doing as well.  But whatever you choose to do, the important thing to have is me time. Taking time out to do the things you like is what is important, so feel free to take out the paint brushes and create a canvass of beautiful colors, start knitting a comfy red sweater or play a minuet on the piano. Taking care of yourself, even just for half an hour each day, will make you a rejuvenated and happier mom, ready to tackle everything on your to-do list with renewed energy. Task # 1 - de-stress the stress.  Check.

14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Happy

It's amazing that the divorce rate in the United States is estimated at 50%.  It's actually pretty sad too.  People are so quick to just exit out of a relationship without even trying.  But here's a theory - how about learning to keep things happy before problems arise, learning small everyday things that can keep little stresses away?  Isn't that a novel idea?   I thought so, which is why I created this list of items that have helped me personally.  I'm not saying that I have the fairytale relationship but after 13 years I have learned that the small yet simple gestures seem work well.

1. Communicate-not just about your feelings- but about your day.  Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting.  Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others' feelings.  It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.

2. Take showers together- it doesn't have to be sexual!  My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual?  Probably.  But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!

3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it's a young and fun thing to do.  It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress.  Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what's needed to alleviate all of that, even if it's only for half an hour.

4. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person?  Take an evening walk.  Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship.  Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.

5. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse.  It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun.  But making time for just the two of you is important.

6. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well.  Just don't take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.

7. Have sex-even if you don't want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive.  Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union.

8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.

9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost.  It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something.  It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.

10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way.  Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.

11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together.  Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another.  Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.

12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment.  Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for.  

Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when.  The nicer you are the better.

13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about.  My husband and  I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time.  The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.

14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame.  Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important.  I've learned to pick and choose my battles.  Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully.  Just think "is this really worth getting mad about?  Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning?  Will I even remember this next week?"  Most of the time the answer is no.  I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress. 

http://www.hybridmom.com/articles/family-parenting/marriage-divorce/14-ways-keep-your-relationship-happy?page=2

10 Habits of Happy Moms

Here are 10 things happy moms do--so remember these tips in your day-to-day life!

1. Find time for yourself
Happy moms know they deserve a little time to themselves. When you know you're going to have a little room to breathe later on in the day, it's easier to take on everything that's in front of you. Our formula? Take 2 hours out for yourself every 3 days.

2. Don't make a happy baby, happier!
We all do it...you see your baby's head at what you're sure is an unnatural angle snoozing in their car seat. You just know they'll be happier if their head was straight.  So you move them. And they wake up. Then they scream. Or, you see them playing happily in the sand. You just know they'll be happier if they played on the slide. So you interrupt them and move them to the slide.  And they're angry. And they let you know they're REALLY angry.  Here's the thing, they were happy. It can be hard to do, but if your kid's not complaining, leave them be!  Happy baby = Happy Mommy.

3. Embrace the mess
So your house doesn’t look like something out of a magazine. That just means it’s cozy! Your children have hands coated in dirt from the playground and faces coated in spaghetti from dinner. It’s not gross—it’s an adorable photo op! Life is about how you look at things. Next time that pile of laundry that’s been sitting on the chair for three days starts to get you down, just remember… it’s probably feng shui.

4. Make time for your friends
Your family can survive without you while you make time to see friends. You are a woman with your own identity and its imperative that you and that identity go out for some margaritas once in awhile!

5.  Stop blowing yourself off
While you may be the one taking care of everyone, it doesn't mean you can't also get what you want. Help your family realize your needs are as important as theirs and when mom is happy, everyone is happy, but when mom is not....

6.  Get in the zone Take 10 minutes to do absolutely nothing but rest. Take a break from your day, close your eyes, breath in slowly and deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth.  Repeat several times. Think about a place you love that is relaxing, spend 10 minutes there in your mind.

7.  Remember your dreams and goals
 Everyday we are encouraging our children to reach their full potential. But sometimes in the midst of being a parent we forget about our own dreams and goals. The best thing you can do to encourage a child is to lead by example –happy moms hold on to their dreams and goals and don’t let go.

8.  Be lighthearted
Don't be the uptight mom. Be silly and dance with your kids to their music or tv show tunes. Be romantic and pull your partner into a waltz. Dance in slippery socks in your kitchen while making dinner.

9.  Bend the Rules
One of the best parts of making the rules is occasionally breaking them. Maybe it’s taking your child out of school for half a day on their birthday, or waking them up in the middle of the night to see a sky of shooting stars.  Happy moms know how to turn the mundane into fun.

10.  Mind your own business
Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Stop seeking the validation of others and be confident in yourself.

Top 3 parenting tips for new moms

1. Spend quality time with your child even if your busy.
2. Ask and learn from other moms experience.
3.Just be a hot cool momma.

My top 3 wishes of my Anaks:

1. That they will be healthy and have best future.
2. That they will have their own happy family in the future.
3. That they will turnout to be beautiful person inside and out.

9 ways to keep your marriage healthy at any age

By Kate Stinchfield

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes decades of time together strewn with a minefield of potential relationship wreckers. It’s a wonder that anyone ends up walking off into the sunset, hand-in-wrinkled-hand, with a silver-haired mate. What do those geriatric lovebirds know that you don’t?

Well, the truth is that even in so-called happy marriages, both partners probably fantasize some of the time—or even much of the time—about throwing in the towel. A Woman’s Day and AOL Living poll found that a shocking 72% of women surveyed have considered leaving their husbands at some point. But despite the occasional rocky patch, 71% expected to be with their husbands for the rest of their lives. So how do you make it to the finish line with your relationship intact?

Each decade will have its own drama, be it child-rearing, layoffs, second careers, and middle-aged angst, along with a big helping of the in-sickness-and-in-health stuff. Here’s how to have a healthy relationship every step of the way.

1. Watch your waistline
Now that you’re married, you can finally relax and skip the gym, right? Wrong. Wedded couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can spell trouble in terms of sexual attraction and general health. A 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that your chances of becoming obese increase by 37% if your spouse becomes obese. So unless you want “till death do us part” to include chronic health issues like heart disease and diabetes, it’s important to establish healthy eating habits early on. But warding off weight gain isn’t as simple as whipping up a healthy meal together. Eating with anyone—from your spouse to coworker—can cause you to consume 33% more than you would solo.

Being aware of the potential fatty pitfalls of marital bliss may be enough to keep your portion sizes in check. Spend couple time checking out local farmers' markets on the weekends in an effort to consumer fresher, low-calorie fare. Or schedule an exercise date to work off some of your hearty, homemade dinners.

Health.com: The 7 best fat-blasters

2. Have a financial plan
Nearly 40% of married people admit to lying to their spouse about a purchase, according to a 2004 poll, and money woes can quickly send your marriage south. In fact, money is the number-one reason couples fight, and relationships tend to suffer during poor economies. You should discuss and agree upon some hard financial ground rules, preferably before you tie the knot.

Don’t fret if you’re a spendthrift and your partner pinches pennies. “It’s probably not a good thing to have the exact same philosophy about money, “ says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. “But financial issues are best to resolve early on. You want to decide who is going to pay the bills, how much discretionary spending is reasonable, and how you’re going to keep track of it all.”

3. Figure out your family rules
Couples spend the first 5 to 10 years of their marriage butting heads over how their family should work, says Dr. Robbins. “People often don’t realize that they come into a marriage with an idea of how a family works based on their own family—whether they liked them or not,” he adds. You can end up fighting over something as trivial as how you should hang your toilet paper, but those little issues can add up to big problems, particularly if children enter the picture. A 2004 study found that how a couple manages parenting responsibilities when the child is an infant is associated with the quality of their marriage two-and-a-half years later.

Health.com: Secrets to a stress-free family

You and your partner may have vastly different ideas about how a child should be cared for and what constitutes family together time. If one of you is working, should the other partner get up with the baby at night, or should you take turns? Is it important for you to sit down to dinner as a family every night? “You need to figure out how you can live together happily while each maintaining your own sense of self,” says Dr. Robbins.

4. Make sex a priority—but not a chore
While you should make sex a priority, you shouldn’t pencil it in on your planner. If you schedule sex, it becomes a responsibility—just like taking out the trash, says Andrew Goldstein, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, in Baltimore, and the coauthor of Reclaiming Desire. The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week. And a recent eight-year study found that 90% of couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child. Yikes!

But it doesn’t matter whether you’re having sex five times a week or five times a year—as long as both of you are happy, says Dr. Goldstein. In fact, a 2008 study found that couples who reported any kind of marital intimacy—everything from holding hands to sex—exhibited lower levels of a hormone produced by stress.

Health.com: 7 foods for better sex

5.  Be flexible
Whatever financial and household arrangements you agreed to in your 20s or 30s, chances are they’re going to change at some point in your marriage. Men account for 82% of recent job losses during this recession, meaning couples are making some hard choices when it comes to both their careers and their checking accounts.

If the traditional breadwinner is laid off, the stay-at-home parent may need to head back into the workforce. Conversely, if you become a stay-at-home partner—due to choice or circumstance—expect to do more of the shopping, cleaning, and other chores that make a household run smoothly. A recent analysis of government data found that employed women spend significantly more time on child care and housework than employed men—and unemployed men.

Health.com: Laid off? The healthiest ways to spend your time

Having an open discussion of how household duties need to change can help couples weather some tough transitions. “Everyone has a role within the relationship and as long as there’s a greater good, it’s not a question about whether it’s his money or her money,” says Dr. Goldstein. “It’s their money. Your paycheck and your career are not the value of your worth.”

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6. Stay active as you age
If you’re like most American couples, you don’t exercise or you stopped regularly exercising when you had children. Try to find new ways to stay active as a couple, whether it’s hitting the tennis courts or hiking trails. A 1995 study found that couples who work out together are more likely to stick with an exercise program. And some experts suggest that couples who exercise more frequently tend to have better sex lives.

Pick up a life sport that you can enjoy together for decades to come, like golf, tennis, or hiking. You don’t need to be seriously sweating to reap the benefits of regular exercise. Experts say that moderate exercise is enough to help stave off heart disease and other ailments.

7. Gab (a little) to your friend
In the last decade, researchers have noted a rise in “gray divorce,” or couples over 50 who are calling it quits. While it’s tempting—and often prudent—to keep couple conversations behind closed doors, you may actually benefit from blabbing to a close friend.

Health.com: 28 days to a healthier relationship

“It’s often helpful to talk to couple friends when these big issues come up,” says Dr. Robbins. “Many couples live very privately and discuss these issues with the shades down, but relationship issues like this can often benefit from hearing how people that you trust dealt with a similar situation.” Whether it’s hearing how a friend dealt with her husband’s infidelity or other big hurdles, a little empathy can put things in perspective. But keep your gabbing under control. “Clearly it’s never a good idea to say anything—even to a close friend—that you wouldn’t want repeated back to your spouse in five years,” warns Dr. Goldstein.

8. Rediscover each other as a couple, sans kids
Forget empty nest syndrome—a 2008 study found that marital satisfaction actually improves once children leave home. Female participants reported spending equal amounts of time with their partners both while their children lived at home and after, but they noted that the quality of that together time was better once the kids were out of the picture. “Suddenly the tyranny of the children controlling the household is relieved,” says Dr. Robbins. “You don’t have to have dinner at 6, you don’t have to spend Saturdays at the soccer field, and you don’t have to be so responsible all the time.” Use this newfound freedom to bend the rules a bit and rediscover what you love about each other.

But if marital problems have already been bubbling, an empty nest can reveal serious tension. “All of a sudden the noise is gone,” says Dr. Robbins. “If you didn’t have much to talk about, it suddenly becomes more apparent once the kids are gone.”

Health.com: 8 reasons sex is better after 50

9. Be a conscious caregiver
In the event of a serious illness, spouses who assume the role of caregiver often develop a sense of “caregiver burden” and may become ill themselves. So it’s vital that both spouses ask for help when they need it. Getting out to see friends and socialize is particularly important for caregivers. And realize that you both have limitations.

“The spouse who needs help typically feels guilty and frustrated. The spouse who has to help feels controlled by it,” says Dr. Robbins. “While you can’t fix those issues, you at least need to be open about them.” 

 

I believe that whatever situation comes to the relationship, both should be able to know the rules and know what is expected of eachother. We dont really need any others to control or advise how our relationships work, thats why we have eachother as a married couple rite? If you made the vow to be there thru sickness and in health or sicker or poorer and so on, we all know who we marry so we should not have any problems with trying to keep it healthy. Think things thru and sooner or later we figure out that all along all we ever needed was eachother and none else.

 

CHICKEN RELLENO by Chef Jill Sandique

Ingredients:

For the chicken

1 whole chicken, about 2 kilograms, washed and deboned
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1½ teaspoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon lemon or calamansi juice
salt and pepper, to taste

For the stuffing

2 tablespoons vegetable or corn oil
1½ cups chopped onion
2 teaspoons minced garlic
¼ cup celery

1¾ cups diced white bread, about 70 grams
1/3 cup fresh milk

500 grams ground pork
¼ cup chopped chorizo Bilbao
½ cup chopped sweet ham
2 tabespoons chopped pimiento
¼ cup sliced green olives
¼ cup dark raisins
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon soy sauce
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
olive oil or melted butter, for brushing

Method:

1.     In a bowl, marinate chicken in Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce and  lemon or
calamansi juice. Season with salt and pepper.  Refrigerate for  30 minutes.

2.    In a sauté pan, heat oil.  Add the onions and  cook until translucent.  Add
the garlic and cook briefly.  Add the  celery and cook a few minutes more. 
Remove from heat and cool  completely.

3.    Meanwhile soak bread in milk until softened.

4.     In a large bowl, mix together ground pork and the rest of the  ingredients. 
Add the cooled onion mixture and the soaked bread.  Blend  well.


5.    Preheat oven to 350F.  Fill chicken with meat  stuffing.  Sew up with a
cotton twine, if necessary.  Place stuffed  chicken in a roasting pan, together
with the bones, liver and giblets.  Brush with olive oil or butter.  Roast for
2 hours. Cover with aluminum  foil if necessary. Remove from oven and allow
chicken to rest for 30  minutes.


6.    Transfer chicken to a serving platter.  Cut into 1/2 - inch thick slices. 
Serve with Chicken Relleno with catsup or gravy.

7.     Optional:  To make the gravy, deglaze roasting pan with a little red or 
white wine.  In a saucepan, melt ¼ cup butter.  Add ¼  to ½ cup flour  and cook
until bubbly.  Add 2 cups chicken stock and the pan juices.  Whisk well.  Chop
the liver and giblets and add to the pan.  Season with  salt, pepper and thyme.

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Breastfeeding and returning to work

Join the many women who continue breastfeeding after returning to work!

Why continue to breastfeed?
Your baby needs only breastmilk for the first six months, and you can continue to breastfeed for up to two years and beyond. Solid foods are to be introduced at six months.
Continued breastfeeding is important for your baby because it:
Benefits brain development;
Protects against illnesses such as colds, coughs, ear infections;
Helps to reduce allergies;
Reduces risk of obesity and heart disease; and
Reduces risk of juvenile diabetes and some childhood cancers.
Mothers who continue to breastfeed have:
Weight loss;
Reduced risk of some cancers; and
Less chance of osteoporosis
Planning Ahead
Call a Public Health Nurse about one month before returning to work to talk over your breastfeeding options.
Adjusting feeding routines
Scheduling work
Maintaining or adjusting your milk supply
Using cups and bottles*
Expressing or pumping
Storing breast milk
Choosing a child care provider who supports breastfeeding
Talking to your employer about your plan
Understanding your rights to continue breastfeeding
Knowing your employer's responsibilities
*Early introduction of bottles can affect your milk supply. In most cases, you can introduce a cup for babies over eight months old, depending on the child.
More tips:
Breastfeed before you leave for work and when you return home
Find a convenient time and place for pumping or breastfeeding at work
Look at a photo of your baby while pumping to help with milk flow
Pump twice during a 7-8 hour shift to maintain your milk supply
Store breast milk in a refrigerator at work or in a cooler bag with an ice pack.
Call Region of Peel - Public Health for an information sheet on storing and thawing breast milk.
For more information and help:
Region of Peel - Public Health
905-799-7700 Peelregion.ca/health
accountforhealth.ca
Ontario Human Rights Commission
1-800-387-9080 hrc.on.ca/English/publications/pregnancy-policy.shtml
La Leche League Canada
1-800-665-4324 Lllc.ca
Child Development Resource Connection of Peel
(child care information) 905-890-9432
Human Rights & Social Development Canada
(maternity leave, jobs, training) 905-790-2525 Hrsdc.gc.ca
The Ontario Human Rights Commission says:
Women should not be discriminated against in any way because they have chosen to breastfeed. A supportive environment can be created with minimal disruption.
Information for Employers
There are many benefits for employers who support working mothers and breastfeeding.
Reduced absenteeism by parents of healthy breastfed babies
Reduced health benefit costs
Improved retention of female employees
Greater employee loyalty is found in family-friendly workplaces
For employer responsibilities, please see the Policy on Discrimination Because of Pregnancy and Breastfeeding from the Ontario Human Rights commission. It's the law.
For more information on comprehensive workplace health, visit: accountforhealth.ca
Information provided by the Region of Peel

Back to Work After Baby

Ann Douglas

Returning to work after maternity leave doesn’t have to be the stuff of which new mom nightmares are made. Here are some mom-proven strategies for making the transition as stress-free as possible for you and your baby.

BEFORE YOU RETURN TO WORK

• Tap into the working mom grapevine. Find out what types of strategies other moms in your workplace have used to make those first few weeks back a little less stressful, and what concessions have been made to their requests. You might discover, for example, that it is possible to work part-time hours during your first week back (either by following a half-day or an every-other-day schedule). Or you might be able to arrange to return to work on a Wednesday so that you only work a half-week.
• Get your childcare arrangements in order. Ensure that your childcare arrangement is as solid as possible—and then come up with a plan for backup care. The message here is plain and simple: No childcare arrangement is foolproof. If your child is being cared for in a family daycare or by a childcare provider in your own home, you’ll need to consider what to do if the childcare provider wakes up with the stomach flu. And if your child is being cared for in a childcare centre, you’ll need to think about what you’d do if you got a call saying that the centre had to close for a day because a pipe burst. When you’re considering who you might turn to for backup care, look for someone whose parenting philosophies are compatible with your own and who is likely to be available when you need her. There’s no point listing Mary Poppins as your backup caregiver if she’s off flying across the sky with her umbrella when the daycare tries to reach her.
• Look for ways to reduce the amount of work you’ll have to do on the home-front. Hire a college or high school student to pitch in with chores for a couple of hours each week. And plan to eat ready-made casseroles from the freezer during your first week back at work.

AFTER YOU RETURN TO WORK

• Don’t try to catch up on all the items on your to do list at work all at once. You’ve been off work for an extended period of time. It’s unrealistic for you or others to expect you to be able to catch up overnight. You can reduce these work-related re-entry pains by having some contact with your friends and colleagues from work during your maternity leave, but you’ll want to be clear from the outset about just how much contact you want to have with work. Remember you’re entirely within your rights to say you don’t want to have any contact at all.
• Be prepared to feel unprepared. You and your baby are going to be riding an emotional rollercoaster that first week back and, as the grownup, you're responsible for caring for the two of you. Yes, you, too. The ride will be all-the-more hair-raising if you're feeling physically depleted, so you need to make your own physical health a priority, regardless of how busy you are. That means eating healthy food, finding time to be physically active (even if it's just a ten-minute walk during your breaks, your lunch hour, and right after work), and getting as much sleep as your schedule (and your baby) allow. More advice: Try to keep non-essential commitments to a minimum. Don't overload your evenings and weekends with volunteer work and family gettogethers. Give yourself and your baby time to get used to your new back-to-work routine.
• Reduce early morning chaos by doing as much packing and organizing as you can the night before. Stock your baby's change bag with anything that doesn't require refrigeration. Create master lists and checklists and store the originals on your computer so that you don't have to constantly re-invent the wheel.
• Don't be surprised if you find that your baby takes on a strange Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde persona. When you drop him off at daycare, he can't bear to say goodbye; when you pick him up, he pretends you're total strangers—almost as if he's "punishing" you for "abandoning" him earlier in the day. Then, in the middle of the night, he wants to squeeze in bonus mommy-cuddle time (this despite the fact that he had been sleeping through the night for months before your return to work). Realize that this frustrating (and exhausting) stage will pass once your baby settles into his routine. In the meantime, be loving and patient. After all, your baby is simply looking for some added reassurance from you that the two of you are still bosom buddies, even if you're no longer breastfeeding 24/7
• Steer clear of the Supermom trap. While you want to demonstrate to your coworkers that you're still committed to your job, but you don't have to go overboard in trying to prove that everything is "business as usual." Having a baby is a life-changing event, and it would be unrealistic for you to expect yourself to step back into your old role as if nothing in your universe had changed. Everything has changed, you included. Of course, you can still be a committed and productive employee (which is all that really matters to your coworkers and your employer anyway).
• Realize that this too shall pass. Like all challenging parenting stages before it and all challenging stages to come, this is a limited time offer. It won't be long before your child is the biter—or the bitee—at daycare, and you're trying to troubleshoot that problem in the middle of a meeting with your boss. Hold on tightly and enjoy the ride!

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Baby Books, Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, and Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. Visit her online at www.having-a-baby.com.